Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
