You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
