We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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