she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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