PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
