omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
