all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
