so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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