Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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