considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
