My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
