Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
