You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
