I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
