i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
