I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
