if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
