Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my shit smells like andre
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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