I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
