Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
