He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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