i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
