My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
