:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
