You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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