dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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