since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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