I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize