mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.