Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now