i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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