New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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