my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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