Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Jerry, you need to find god
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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