Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
