I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
