Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
