Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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