I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
