I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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