I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
