did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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