Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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