I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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