oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
