I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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