I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize