I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
