you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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