5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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