can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
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Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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