I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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