What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
where am i from again
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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