Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
