Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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