...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
