Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
