dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
