I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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