I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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