It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
