Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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