My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize