wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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