aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
