Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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