I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it's like heaven, but drunker
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
