Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
