Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
