she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
