the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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