She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
